The Forces of Light vs. the Cardboard Dark Lord

My body is a battlefield right now, on which the Forces of Light are combating... not the Dark Lord, but a cardboard cutout of the Dark Lord based on a portrait sent by my friends at Moderna. But though the adversary is fake, the battle is real, and I'm feeling it. Fever, body aches, lethargy. It's not that bad, though, and it will pass soon. And when it has... I will have a standing army who know and hate that guy's face.