4/20/05: Forward motion over bumpy terrain

[davidlevine]

Editing hours: 49.8 | Since last entry: 0.9 | Percent complete: 87%

Mostly this evening I just read over chapter 9. I had only two notes for this chapter in my giant list of things-to-do; I decided not to do one of them, and the other (an old note from before the last edit) I decided didn't need any additional work. So I made no substantial changes, just a very few wording tweaks.

I think the chapter before that still needs attention -- more suffering, more danger, more suspicion. But there was nowhere to put it. Everything in the chapter felt finely polished, leaving no cracks or crannies to attach anything new. I considered adding a complete new scene just to show civilization breaking down, but that seemed artificial, and things in these late chapters are moving so fast that I can't justify a whole scene that doesn't advance the plot. Besides, I want to reduce the word count, not add to it.

I'm having a definite, but low-key, crisis of confidence on this thing as I approach the end of the revisions (which I really hope to have done by the end of this month). I find myself thinking a lot about the fact that working hard on a novel doesn't guarantee it will sell. Most first novels don't sell. But I can't bear to think that this thing on which I have spent over two years of my life might never go anywhere but my filing cabinet.

Well. Knowing what I do about the publishing biz, it might take years to reach the point of deciding to trunk the thing. Plenty of time to write more novels, better ones. And this one might sell. Though at the moment I can only see its flaws.

In any case, once I finish this one... it's short stories for at least six months, baby. I want instant gratification!

Comments

[apparentparadox]

I'm reading "The War of Art" by Steven Pressfield. It's a pretty good read, and probably full of stuff you've heard before. The basic gist of the book is that you just have to make yourself do the stuff -- there are lots of rationalizations and other things that come up, but you just gotta write (or paint or code). No excuses. It doesn't matter if this one will be tossed in the trash. You just gotta keep on writing and keep learning to write better, and that's what it takes to be successful.

If you're not going to do that, then you'll always be an amateur.

[davidlevine]

Sound advice. I have managed to keep going so far...

[mkhobson.livejournal.com]

I think you need to put the selling of the book out of your mind entirely. Didn't you once relate a story about being up for the Hugo, and Gordon Van Gelder advised you to assume you'd already lost (just because then you wouldn't be disappointed if you did, and you be thrilled if you didn't)? I think when you're writing, you have to adopt that mindset. Assume that it *will* sit in your drawer forever. Practice radical acceptance of that fact. I think you'll find it quite liberating, actually.

When you really let go of the whole sale expectation thing, you feel more free to do things in the book that you might otherwise not do. Thinking about whether or not a book is going to sell is another facet of the inner critic that we all strive so hard to switch off when writing.

Oh, and by the way ... all that being said ... I think your book is going to sell. ;-)

M

[davidlevine]

Thanks for the advice and reassurance!

[sallytuppence.livejournal.com]

Funny how revisions are all about adding suffering...

[davidlevine]

I'm sure it's not always the case for every writer. For me, and for this book, the critiques that I've gotten have been pretty consistent that I need to put my characters in more trouble. I can certainly imagine a critique (heck, I've given them!) that the world is too bleak and the characters need to be given more hope. But that's not my problem, at least not today.

[xthread.livejournal.com]

I hope it sells, because I want to read it.

[davidlevine]

You and me both!